When someone slights us, it’s natural to feel hurt or angry. However, what you choose to do with those feelings has a profound impact on your quality of life, and even the opportunities that you invite into your life.
On the most basic level, you can choose to either love or hate the person that has hurt you. When you choose to hate another person, YOU are the one who suffers. The other person does not experience your hate. You do. As Anne Lamott says, “Refusing to forgive is like eating rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.” When you chose to hate another person, it only brings YOU down. You are the only one affected by your hateful thoughts – the only one who has to endure feeling the hateful feelings.
Choosing to love in spite of being hurt does not mean that you allow yourself to be mistreated. Choosing love doesn’t mean you have to allow the person who hurt you to be part of your life. Instead, choosing love means choosing to view the other person with compassion – understanding that we are all human, all imperfect, and ultimately, all connected. When you condemn another person by hating them, you are in fact, condemning yourself. If you live your life hating others, that hateful energy is what will spill out onto all those you encounter.
By choosing loving and compassionate thoughts, you place yourself in a position of alignment with your highest good and positive intentions. Give thanks to those who attempt to bring you down, for those are the people that build strength in you – those are your most valuable teachers. They teach you what you do and do not want, thus giving you better direction for your future.
When someone hurts you, seek to view them with compassion, not judgement. People who wrong you may not even know what they’ve done. Remember that their bad behavior means that they are not aligned with their best selves. They are separated from their highest intentions, positive motives, and loving actions. They may have been conditioned to behave that way by circumstance or hateful adult role-models. You do not have to condone their behavior, by all means, set healthy boundaries. But be willing to see their behavior as the action of another hurt human being. A human being worthy of compassion.
Obviously, cultivating compassion is easier said than done. Here is an exercise that may help:
Sit quietly in a place where you will not be disturbed. Think about a person that you have hateful thoughts about.
Can you envision this person as a young child?
What is this child wanting to gain from their adult role models? What does this child need?
Can you see suffering in the child?
Hate is a learned behavior – a way to rebel or “get even” with uncontrollable events or adults in childhood. Hate breeds hate. Hate teaches children to hate. Love can put that fire out. And sometimes other adults still fail to manage the emotional child within.
Now bring your thoughts back to this person as an adult.
Remember, hate is rooted in insecurity, lack of acceptance, weakness, jealousy and fear. It brings you and others down and encourages depression, withdrawal, and isolation. Hate is life-taking, and produces weak and negative results.
Love is a gift of compassion, strength, courage and faith. It’s a positive, good-feeling emotion that brings life-giving and abundant results.
Here’s the best news EVER… YOU get to choose love over hate. Or vice versa. Your results will always reflect your choice. Remember…. hate and love can never exist in the same place at the same time. So choose wisely when deciding which to invite into your heart and entertain.
Choose loving thoughts. Love is positive energy that brings positive feelings, positive actions and positive results.
Let go, move forward, live on.
♥Love over hate, peace over war, faith over fear♥