When we are in conflict with another person, the position we take becomes “our truth” and “our story”. We tell this story over and over to ourselves and share it with others to justify all further action. Often the stories we tell only perpetuate the problem and continue to keep the relationship in a dysfunctional state.
We can only know what we choose to seek the answer to. In other words, ask yourself how you came to the current conclusion and if it’s possible there is another point of view. How true is your story? Is it backed by tangible evidence or is it fueled by emotions? What is the final result you are seeking?
As humans, we all tell ourselves stories and we all judge the stories that others are telling. What really counts is our ability to decipher between our truth, their truth and the common ground. It is imminently important to tell yourself the whole damn truth. To do this, you must explore the idea of another perspective. Walk just a moment in the other person’s shoes. If you find yourself entirely caught up in your point of view with no chance of deviation, your “stuckness” may be caused by defensiveness or being trapped in survival mode.
Allowing your mind to explore other possibilities in a highly contested and emotional situation, can not only neutralize, but also bring more clarity to the situation in a more objective way.
Reveal to yourself what type of thoughts you are entertaining. Write them down. Are they negative? Positive? Neutral? This matters!
Your goal is to come from a place of centeredness. Know your own truth and consider the truth from a new perspective. This allows the result of the circumstance to manifest in light of all that initially led up to the issue at hand…bringing more peace, clarity and resolution.
Eryn Pernarelli, C.C. 