The rate of divorce and separation is ever-increasing and so we must adapt to new ways of parenting if we find ourselves within the vast group of couples who decide to part ways.
Children become the sail amongst the storm of parent separation. We must shelter the wild winds of adult emotion and negative actions from little ones. Children do not have the skills to cope with trauma produced by adult conflict, so it is our responsibility to keep them as safe as possible from emotional harm.
Here are some things to be mindful of:
- Avoid negative talk & criticism about the child/ren’s other parent
- Both parents should take responsibility for the divorce/separation
- Financial discussions should be kept strictly to adult communication
- Keeping children from seeing their other parent is detrimental to their well-being
- It is never the children’s responsibility to exchange parental messages about anything
- Using money/gifts to buy your children’s loyalty is never a good idea-it will eventually backfire and causes more harm than good
- Parents should work together and avoid further separation of family ties and bonding
- Seek professional help. People do not get married to get divorced and you are not expected to be an expert in handling such an event. Family counselors can offer guidance, suggestions and tips on how to minimize the suffering of your children
Children are just like sponges. They absorb the emotional elements of their environment but lack the ability to navigate those feelings. The separation of their parents is difficult, but adding to the chaos by forcing them to choose sides or act as a go-between prevents healthy emotional development. It can cause delays in emotional maturity and in more severe cases, cause other psychological harm well into adulthood. It is much easier to work at present to minimize harm than it is to create a lifetime of struggle and conflict within your children.
♥ Always choose love over fear and peace over harm.
Eryn Pernarelli, C.C. 